Schizophrenia
by neko.with.a.chainsaw
Summary: I always hear the voices, screams of pain, howls and the insults. I rip my hair out and the white locks of hair are soon stained by the blood of my victims. They gurgle on their own blood as i as god why? Why does he let me suffer and god answers. Why not?


"Allen, we are going to have to move again soon," I paused from working on my geometry and leaned back in the chair.

"Have they found us, Neah?" Neah sighed and I took this as a yes. "When do we have to leave?" I began to pack-up the work that was lying out on my desk. We always have to move around because there have been people following us, murdering the innocent. I'm not sure why they are doing this but Neah says not to think about it too much.

"We should leave later tonight, I've already arranged files for the next school you will be attending. It's called Black Order High school and they have been sent to an apartment near the school that you will be living in soon," I nodded and moved over to my closet, pulling out my few changes of clothes, placing them in a worn-out suitcase.

"Thank you Neah," I looked into the mirror and he smiled back at me.

"Any time, Allen…"

* * *

><p>I sighed as I looked at the map in my hands to try and find my way to the school. It took most of the night to move into the new apartment, and Neah wasn't much of a help, complaining about how the place was too dull. Then that morning we realized that the neighbor had some really noisy dogs.<p>

Sighing, I walked with determination down the path. I had made sure that my clothes had been ironed properly and that I had clean gloves. Neah had tried to convince me into wearing a wig to school or at least covering up my scar but I refused. This is who I am and nobody will change that.

"Watch out!" I turned around right as something tackled me to the ground. Pain sprouted in the back of my head and I groaned as the body on top of me slowly moved off.

"Holy shit! I'm so sorry, are you okay?" I slowly opened my eyes and saw a hand in front of my face. I took it gratefully and held the back of my head with one hand.

"Ouch," I glanced up at the person connected with the hand and tried not to giggle. They had an eye patch covering one eye. Guess I'm not the only freak here.

"Oh jeez, Yu come apologise!" eye patch looked over at someone behind him and I followed his gaze to a long-haired man that seemed to be planning our deaths.

"Like hell I would, and don't call me that," Neah snorted and I silently cursed him. Eye patch looked back at me and gave a cheesey grin and laughed lightly.

"Sorry about that, I didn't mean to knock you over sir," again Neah snorted and I chuckled along. Eye patch looked at me funny and I shook my head.

"Thank you, and for that matter I am sixteen. So I don't see any reason to be called 'sir'," eye patch's eye widened and the brooding man behind him rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Now I really feel stupid," I shook my head.

"No harm done, my name is Allen Walker. And you?" I stuck out my hand and he shook it.

"Lavi Bookman. You don't happen to be attending the Black Order, do you?"

"Evidently yes, and I am lost beyond all belief," Lavi laughed at my sad face and threw an arm over my shoulder.

"No worries Allen my friend, me and old Yu will help ya'," the long haired man called "Yu" slapped Lavi in the back of the head.

"I said don't call me that," I smiled to myself. It appears that me and Neah have new friends.

* * *

><p>Turns out that I have a few classes with Lavi and Kanda Yu, as I found out that his first name was "Yu" and that I should only call him that if I have a death wish like Lavi. I met some interesting people today and felt right in place. Not too many people asked about my hair or scar. Kanda kept glaring at me for some reason and for once Neah didn't make too many comments. Probably because everyone was so nice. He gets really protective whenever someone doesn't treat me properly.<p>

"So Allen-chan, you want to go over to a cafe with us so that we can get to know each other?" _Allen-chan? _I shrugged my shoulders and smiled.

"That would be very nice," Lavi smiled and threw his arm over my shoulder again. He had mocked me a few times about my height after Kanda brought it up. Neah would have punched them both if the Senior Lenalee hadn't smacked them on the head with a clipboard.

"Alright! It's settled, come on Yu, Lenalady, off to the Exorcist!" I laughed when Kanda yelled at Lavi again, I guess I really did have friends. As the two chased each other all the way to the cafe Neah sighed.

"Well Allen, will you really stick close to them? They might get hurt," I shrugged and looked at the two boys.

"Its worth a try."

"Allen-kun, who are you talking to?" Lenalee gave me a weird look and I waved it off.

"Oh it's nothing, come on Lavi and Kanda are going to beat us there."

The cafe was small and cosy, with cross designs all over and all of the waiters and waitresses wore black uniforms with silver buttons and crosses. The woman that walked up to us had orange hair and purple make-up on her face.

"What can I get you brats?" Neah raised an eyebrow as we all placed an order. We sat in silence after she left and I tapped out a melody on my thigh.

"So Allen-chan," I looked up at Lavi, "What's your family like?" I cringed and wondered if I should tell them about Neah.

"Oh, I live by myself. My family died a long time ago," I decided against it. They all wore shocked faces, even Kanda looked concerned.

"Then I am guessing you pay the bills, moyashi?" I nodded and Kanda gave me a look of respect? Lavi said something that angered the man and the two started fighting, but I couldn't hear them. I looked over at Lenalee who opened her mouth to laugh, and didn't hear it.

The rude waitress from earlier came back with our drinks and snacks. She said something that made Lavi blush and Kanda stare at her in horror.

My hands went up to my ears when I heard them, thousands of agonizing voices. Screams piled on top of each other just to be heard. I clutched the sides of my head trying to calm down.

Lavi looked at me and said something with a concerned look. I couldn't hear him because the voices became livid.

_"You are a cursed one..."_

_"They don't want you..."_

_"Murderer!"_

_"Useless garbage..."_

_"All you ever do is lie, Allen."_

_Stop it._

I stumbled out of my seat and towards the called after me but all I heard was the insults. Neah tried to soothe me but his voice was muddled by the others.

With shaky hands, I locked the door in the bathroom.

_Worthless._

_Empty._

_Hatred._

"Who are you?" I stared at the mirror and felt my body convulse when someone smiled through my face. They reached out and caressed my cheek.

"We are to become one, Allen."

* * *

><p>Someone laid a hand on my shoulder and I sat upright, bumping my head into Kanda's nose.<p>

"God damnit moyashi, watch it," he hissed and held his nose. I looked around with a weary eye and found I was still in the bathroom and everything was fine. The walls were no longer covered in blood and I couldn't hear voices anymore.

"Hey," Kanda snapped his fingers in front of my face, "ya' still with me?" I nodded slowly and he grabbed my arm -the left one- and pulled me up. I flinched and Neah clenched his fists. "That stupid bunny was worried but didn't want to leave his girlfriend, you owe me moyashi." My eyebrows furrowed as Kanda pulled me back into the booth so that I sat next to him.

"Allen-chan! We bought some zipoli while you were gone! They're a type of Italian doughnut, here," he handed me one of the fluffy pastries drizzled with chocolate.

I felt out of it, and Neah stroked my thigh in comfort. Biting into the pastry, the chocolate smeared on my face and my eyes widened at the sweetness. I finished it and took two more, adding more chocolate on to them than the one before. Lenalee giggled and picked at her pastry, she must not have an appetite.

"They are almost as good as mitarashi dango," Lavi chuckled as I wiped the chocolate off of my face. Kanda grunted and looked out the window, a smile appeared on Lavi's face as he picked up the last pastry. I eyed the sweet as he pulled it back, and threw it at Kanda, getting chocolate all over his face and hair.

My eyes widened and Neah snorted, I quickly covered his mouth. Kanda's head turned slowly as the doughnut slid down off of his head and fell with a disturbing splat onto the table. His eye twitched and I saw his fingers shaking as they formed a fist.

"What d-do you think y-you were doing?" the stutter formed as he clenched his teeth to keep from exploding. Neah chose that moment to show how amused he was. Tears appeared in my eyes I was laughing so hard.

"I'm sorry," I wiped the tears from my eyes as Kanda sent me a glare. To make up for Neah's outburst I picked up some napkins and began wiping the chocolate globs off of his face. Kanda froze and I heard him suck in a breath as he stared at me. His jaw went slack as he sat there while I cleaned off his face.

When I pulled back they all were staring at me, Kanda with a dumbstruck look and the others with admiration. It was like I just disabled a bomb that would have killed us all. "What? Did Lavi get something on my face too?"

"Dude," Lavi gave me a serious look. "I cannot believe that you are still alive. The zipoli must have delayed his reaction. I must buy more of these. Waiter!" he went to raise his hand when Kanda took the soiled pastry and threw it back at Lavi.

"Don't. You. Dare, baka usagi," Lavi laughed and wiped the food off of his face.

"I think we've had enough today, why don't we pay the bill and say our goodbyes," the four agreed with Allen and after a small debate Lavi payed the bill with an angry Kanda at his throat. The walk home was uneventful other than the fact that Kanda also lived in the apartment building but in the floor under Allen.

"So," I layed on the bed staring up at the colorless ceiling. "How long do you think we can stay here?" Neah shrugged and rolled on his side.

"Not really sure, just get some sleep. It doesn't matter right now," I smiled at Neah's kindness and curled up under my pile of blankets. As soon as I fell asleep something washed over and gold eyes stared out of the shadows smiling. No matter how many times I moved, more people would always die, because I wasn't dead yet.

* * *

><p><strong>Zipoli is a real Italian doughnut and let me tell you, they do rival dango.<strong>

**Sorry that I'm not working on The White Haired Demon but I'm not sure what I should do for it, I've been thinking about it though! So I haven't completely forgotten guys!**

**Hugs and death**

**~neko-san**


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